the art of loving

Love requires knowledge and effort.

Most people see the problem of live primarily as that of being loved,
rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.
Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable.
In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths.
One, which is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful
and rich as the social margin of one’s position permits. Another, used especially by women,
is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one’s body, dress, etc.

As a matter of fact, what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is
essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.

The problem of love is the problem of a faculty, not the problem of an object.